My Elder Brother: Bautis Dattu

“He is the carbon copy of my eldest son, whom God called before time”, had exclaimed my mother on 21^st May, 1965, giving birth to Baptist- ‘the one who came in advance to prepare a way for me’ (as I was born next to him)!

Fourth among the children and the eldest of the five brothers, Baptist was an introvert, soft-spoken but handsone, very intelligent and talented son of Mrs Stella and Mr. Marian D’Silva, our parents.

Blessed with intelligence and interest to learn, always sweet in talk and singing, ever in a hurry to perform the never ending errands given by daddy, his left hand (he was a lefty) moving always for mischief, and his back often having the marks of stick- the rewards by daddy for naughty deeds, Baptist led the way for the rest of us- the ‘Pancha  Pandava’  brothers!

With Fr. Hippo and his brother Lok Sabha member Joseph Toppo

It is said- ‘boys learn from their peers’. In the jungle of Mantrady we had hardly peers, except the five of us, learning from each other. And our Baptist ‘dattu’ (dada) was our headmaster- giving us the ‘lessons of life’. We grew up not so much as brothers, but as friends.

It was fun: swimming and fishing in the river, ploughing-planting-harvesting etc. in the farm, helping dad in the clandestine timber-charcoal-distilling the cashew fenny business in the cover of darkness, sneaking out for ‘Yakshagaana’ melas, bull-race, cock-fight etc. at night, taking our dogs- Koora, Tiger, Blacky into the jungle for hunting, looking for bee hives, stealing the cashew seeds, mangoes and jackfruits from the neighbours… oh I can go on.

But the most important ritual of the day was- at least one fight a day and the evening ‘panchayat’ by our ‘spirit-filled’ daddy. Of course the judgment was invariably- the ‘criminal’ had to bring a stick from the tamarind tree from the backyard to be used by the stern judge- our daddy! Our ‘dattu’ was the main actor in the whole drama.

One incident is etched in my memory- when we were troubled by fowl-insects (in Konkani, ‘kunkudso’), we shared our problem with Sunder, our regular worker, who advised (cunningly though) to take the insects in a ‘baaraat’ (wedding procession) into the jungle and come back quietly. We the five brothers on a Sunday wearing the dad’s dhoti & coat, mummy’s blouse and saree, literally did it, of course to be laughed at by our daddy and mummy, for our foolishness! Our dattu was the leader in all these.

When our dad passed away in April 1987, our dattu had to take the role of a father-figure. Well, how could he be a father, without a ‘mother’? So the first ‘bhabhi’ (sister-in-law) in the family, Gretta D’Souza, the long-time fiancée of Baptist, became part of Hithlu House as they formally tied knot on May 7, 1990. Bhabhi soon adjusted to the new role and mummy was relieved of much of the   work and other responsibilities.

It took a while for mummy to adjust to the first daughter-in-law as sometimes the scenes of TV soap opera show- ‘kabhi saas bhi bahu thi’ started unfolding at Hithlu House. But there was a new lease of life with the arrival of the grandchildren: Vinita, Vikrantha and Vishala. She was an affectionate and caring grandmother to Vinita, now pursuing B.Com; Vikrantha, studying BCA and Vishala in her Class-X.

My Baptist ‘dattu’ was ambitious and anxious to study, but situation warranted it that he stayed at home to look after the farming. Now, he wants his children to chase those dreams as he is works hard in the farm and earns to educate them. I wish and pray for the happy family of Baptist dattu.