Mai, my mother: Stella D'Silva

Mai: You are the living Saint- Silent Sufferer- You are the Greatest!

“She is a living Saint”, declared Sr. Josphine, my Naravi High School headmistress, after hearing my explanation for my absence the previous day. Well, every family has problems...so too my family had! But Stella Rodrigues (better known as ‘Estu Bai’ in the village), my mother “suffered silently” and “stored everything at heart.”

Just imagine her situation- ‘Estu bai’ born in 1931 to Helen and Benjamin Rodrigues at Birau near Moodbidri, Mangalore as the second child out of seven; the Rodrigues family earned their living by running a grocery shop in the village;  after her early education up to Class-V and moving to Mumbai as a domestic help; returning home unable to bear the harassment in Mumbai; given in marriage at the age of 18; toiling  in the paddy fields at the in-laws house- her first experience in life; giving birth to 13 children 4 of whom dying due to sickness/accident; taking the burden of managing the household after the early demise of her husband due to throat cancer in 1987; her priest-son being kidnapped and not traced for 63 days and at last a massive stroke incapacitating for three years now... I just adore my mom and agree fully- ‘mai (‘mother’ in Konkani) you are a living saint indeed’!

“I thought in the beginning he was one of the Muslim traders”, recalled my mai talking about her first encounter with our ‘Aan’ (father), Marian D’Silva, who had gone along with his maternal uncle to look for his better-half. Her most frightful moments were- spending nights in the tiny hut in the jungle, which eventually became our home too, of course developed day by day. Ask about the tragic moments? Well, how could she forget the untimely end of her four children: Leo, Philomena, Marceline and Michael! And her suffering was inexplicable when I was kidnapped in Assam and was kept in the jungle for 63 days by the Cobra militants in 1998. She felt fully fulfilled when Vincy our youngest brother married Olivia in December 1999 and with that all her children employed, married and settled. Her burden of responsibility was almost over.

“Estu bai is the best flower among all the seven children (Lt.Coses, Stella, Bernard, Alex, Lititia, Piyad & Carmine)- virtuous, submissive and mild by temperament,” explains Sr. Iris (Lititia), her sister, who is a Charity Sister working in the Province of Dharwad. Sr. Iris recalls the beautiful white frock which Estu bai wore for the First Holy Communion and which was handed down to all the sisters for the occasions later on. “Her character was spotless like that frock,” she feels.

I will never forget the beaming smile of my mother when all her nine children along with her sons/daughters-in-law and grand children- came together in 2005 and celebrated her Platinum Jubilee (75 years). There were her brothers and sisters, friends and relatives, neighbours and admirers gathered. It was a great occasion. “Though we were born in the jungle, we were never left to become ‘junglee’, rather we were formed and educated by our ever-caring mother,” I had spoken on behalf of nine of us.

September 23, 2011 is the gloomy day for us, as mai suffered the second and a major stroke. With that she is not able to speak and swallow food. We pray to the Almighty to work miracle and heal our wonderful mother. Mai- you are the greatest mother. We all love you.